10:27

i have been talking to a friend of mine for the past 30 minutes.
and i have been really touched by our conversation.

we are talking about what we use to hide who we are.
and pressure.
and just not feeling okay. or happy. or feeling affirmation, that we all search for in our lives.

ive really discovered that i can easily slip into the space where it is so easy to just... push people away. i make funny and snarky/mean jokes. and i just... try to stay away from the point.
and i close my heart to everyone. because i dont NEED to let people in.

i want, so desperately, to get away from this.

i want to invite people in. and be gentle. and.. loving. and.. just. vanurable. i will allow people to hurt me, if that get one glimpse at the lover of my soul.
thats all.

i know ive probably written this before.
but. thats where im at.

Colleen